so i have been having difficulties getting back my form. i was wrong to think i'd have more time to climb after ORD. one, i am no longer a student in SP where i could get easy access to the rockgym before, during and after classes. two, i am working 9am to 6pm everyday. and three, i just do not have as much time as i used to.

i now understand i have to be patient with this. i may even have to resort to new methods unlike my conventional, no-brainer, climb-a-lot-till-i-get-stronger. as much as i'd love to climb passionately just for the love of climbing, like i always have, it agitates me from my calluses down to my very tendons that i am not climbing as strong.

i tend to question my passion for the sport when the very reason for my passion is threatened. i still wanna feel good making the routes i climb look so goddamn easy.

if i had a resolution for the year, it would be to take it easy, understand the situation, and ultimately regain my prime in climbing. and of course, become stronger than that.

and possibly stop posting shit from the toilet bowl.

we said we were gonna go all-out once it was all over. one had to get a girlfriend and the other had to disappear.

no surprise though. it's inevitable. change, that is. it's pretty much a natural disaster only less destructive. you wonder how long certain things will last.. definitely not forever. tak macam fairy tale; happily ever after konon. and so you realise that forever is nonexistent, and instead you wonder for how long you can make it last.

it's up to you, really. unless a higher power (e.g. God, the government, Barack Obama, Chuck Norris, etc) prevents you from having it your way. if nothing stops you then good for you.

there's really no point to this rant. just wanted something in my preposterous Posterous account since it's been quiet for awhile. and because i am bored at work, nothing new.

i want a date. i want to just go out; no frills, just thrills. i wanna have more 'best day of my life' instances. i don't know about love. i really don't. i need something simpler like, having fun.

excited much. tonight's gonna be a good night.

not.